I don’t know why I do this to myself, where I sit down and go through my Netflix Queue and decide on a series and that any free moment I get, I will be watching this series from start to finish. I did that again after I finished Friends and Gilmore Girls for the millionth time. I’ve always loved Grey’s, even when it got weird. In the beginning seasons, I would huddle up with my girls on my wing at ORU and we would not have any plans at 8pm on Thursdays. It was important. We would pop popcorn and sit and cry together as McDreamy and Meredith would see each other in passing in the elevator and then the moment of them being together would be over… Ugh, the heartache.
One thing I learned from watching the last episode last night, was from a conversation Mere had with her sister. She finds her sister sitting on the back porch of this gorgeous cabin in the woods that Derek built and her sister is crying. Not like a rip your heart out kind of cry, but the cry we’ve seen all our sisters cry at one point in time. The cry of disappointment and letdown. Mere asks what’s wrong and her sister lists off the reasons why she didn’t want to burden Mere with her news. “you have all this going on and I didn’t want to talk to you about one more thing”. I love what Meredith says because it sums up my thoughts on being a sibling and oldest sister-
“You should always talk to me… Because chances are, I’ve faced something worse and can tell you all the ways you’re going to make it through this hard thing. You should always, ALWAYS talk to me…”
This sums up every time I have a deep talk with Jess and Hailey. If I feel in my heart of hearts that my sisters are facing something and they haven’t reached out to me, 9 times out of 10, I’m either getting in my car to hunt them down wherever they are (ask Jess. I have done this before and drove to OKC to check on her) or I’m laying my bed, picking up the phone to call them and hopefully they’ll answer the phone.
There’s something about having been through something hard that makes you want to shield your siblings or friends. You want to keep them safe and keep their hearts intact. If you can shield them, you feel like you’ve done your job. In my world, I have the privilege of having 2 younger sisters. I know I am not a mom and they are not my kids, but I feel a special connection to them. I want to keep them safe from the harms and hurts from the world. I know I can’t keep them safe from everything, but I would try my hardest to do so. My favorite moments are when I get text messages from both of them asking if now is a good time to talk. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten up from dinners or life group meetings or trainings for work to answer the call of being the big sister. I would gladly drop anything and everything for my family. What I loved about Meredith and this conversation with her sister, I felt like it was me and plea with my sisters to always, always talk to me. I may have a million things going on, but I will always have the time to sit and tell you all the ways you are going to survive this momentary thing. This is what sisters are here for… This is what we’re all here for: those moments when our loved ones and friends need to hear how they’re going to make it.
It’s that simple. You’re going to make it. All this difficult stuff right now is just stuff. It may feel hard and it probably is, but once you finish this, the feeling of accomplishment will set in and you’ll look back on this moment and be so proud of the growth that’s taken place. You should always, ALWAYS talk to me.