//on my own//

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Amy Poehler is a genius. She gets it. It’s like she gets me better than anyone else.

I’m on my own. I mean, I have been since I was about 26 when I moved out the first time, but I was in Tulsa still and obviously, my parents were close and near by if I ever needed anything or a safe place to hide as the tornado was heading toward Tulsa. Now, it’s different. I’m in Norman. I have no one close here, other than the precious friends I’ve made here.

Life is funny. Sometimes, things work. Family is close and if you’re nervous or scared or just experienced something insane, your family is a car ride away and you can spill it all out. Then, Life can be kinda mean. There’s no one close by and the car ride that was maybe 20 minutes is now almost 2 hours away. There’s the phone but they don’t answer or text you back in a manageable amount of time. They have their own life and you are the outsider. It’s hard. Trust me. I get this more than the other person.

When I left Tulsa, I was in a dark place. I was very broken and was definitely letting my brokenness overtake who I was. I’m a pretty good actor and apparently had a lot of people fooled. 28 hasn’t been great. It’s been full of really hard and difficult things. The best thing about 28 has been leaving my comfort zone of Tulsa and starting fresh and clean in Norman, a place so special to the Davis family that my breath catches every time I’m walking on campus. I have made some of the best friends here and have found a church where I fit. Life is good again. Where being on my own scared me, now, I’m already planning out what is going to happen next. I’m not scared about leaving Oklahoma. I’m not scared about interviewing. I’m not worried about not being close to my family. I mean, a plane ride away is just like a car but it flies… (that was dumb… I’ll edit this part out later…)

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I left some wonderful people in Tulsa, but I also left some behind that I needed to be rid of. It’s amazing how things can change! It’s insane. I didn’t know what freedom and confidence I would find here and I wouldn’t have found it unless I had the guts to leave. I don’t know how long I will be here in Norman, but I relish every minute. I can’t believe I’m living this life. I don’t know why the Lord has blessed me in this way, but I’m so thankful and grateful he chose me for this moment in time. I like being on my own. In a weird way, I know I’m safe here in Norman and being away from here makes my heart hurt. It makes me feel like I’m going to miss out on something!

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I started my training today for my GA position. What?! I am a graduate assistant for the Housing and Food Services department here at OU. I am a Resident Director for HCSA and I’ll be working with students! I literally don’t know what I did to deserve such an opportunity. I have official business cards! I got 3 shirts that are so cool. I have a NAME PLATE! Guys, this is unreal. My first day was so fun. I can’t wait until tomorrow. I guess this little post is just to say, be confident being by yourself. Don’t get comfortable thinking you need a man, or friends, or something to fulfill that hole you may feel in your heart. Sometimes that hole is there because God is waiting for you to reach out to him for ultimate fulfillment. The moment I got real with Jesus and was crying in my bed before my first day of class was the moment my heart felt full. It was letting go of what I thought my life should look like (married, 2 kids, dream job, the car, the house, you get it) and grasped for what the Lord had for me-confidence in being who he created me to be, comfortable walking in my shoes, confidence speaking up for what I believe and what I know to be true, stepping back into my calling as a worshipper, being a good friend, and, this one I’m most proud of, knowing who I am isn’t dependent upon a man. Whether I get married or stay single, I am fulfilled. I am proud. I am no longer worried about what my life is going to look like. You know, one day, a wonderful guy will step into my life and my life won’t suddenly begin…it will continue on. If you are waiting for a man so your life can begin, you’re doing it wrong. Don’t wait for someone so your life can begin. Start living now! There’s something to be said about living out your dreams and passions and then allowing others to join you! So, stop worrying dear friend. Stop thinking you have nothing to offer. Start thinking about what you can do and get out on your own and don’t be scared! 🙂

Until later this week friends…

Linds

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