You know that moment where everything is looking really dim? And you just don’t know how this is all going to work? Yeah…it’s called life. Life is a vicious, wonderful, mean and loving friend. It’s true! Life can be your best friend when everything is going great but can be the mean girl who wouldn’t let you sit at the cool table when things are falling apart at the seams.
Some of you know me personally and know my family. I’m a very big family person and the last couple years have thrown even the strongest person in my family some major curve balls. 2013 seemed to be the year we were all waiting for. Things were going great for mom and dad. Dad was busy and traveling but doing amazing things. Jess and I were finishing up our semesters in school and trying to come up with some sort of plan to finish our degrees and graduate together. Hailey was busy planning her adventure to London with her friend and her family. Things were going great. I had just moved out of the house into my first place and loving putting together the bookshelf from IKEA (yep, that was a joke… sense the sarcasm). The first curve ball we did not expect was losing my Uncle Steve. We didn’t expect that Sunday, March 17th to be Sunday that Pizza Night would cease to exist in our house. Sunday Night Pizza Night was our thing to do with Uncle Steve and Fran. We were so excited for Sunday nights and then suddenly Life comes in and rips the rug right our from underneath you and you can’t breathe you hurt so much. Next, my dad would face a bit of a challenge in his work life that would send him on a new road…the road we’ll call “We wish Elle Woods really existed”. For months after, Dad would be sending out his resumes and awaiting the call. Mom had big decisions to make, but all the while they were so strong, leading us girls along the way.
Life would of course show us some fun times. I was blessed with 2 sisters that seem to have a “Lindsay needs you GPS” and they always know how to send me something uplifting. I have friends that have shown up when I least expect it but need it. I was blessed with a spring break trip to my favorite world DISNEY WORLD with some wonderful friends that I will never forget. I graduated in 2014 and started dreaming again. I would start my graduate application and then Life would start talking to me again about how I can’t do it and how I can’t possibly be smart enough to make it through more school. My sister would move away leaving me sad. It’s just tough sometimes.
I continually am learning that even when I don’t see things happening and moving, that doesn’t mean they’re not. We serve a God of miracles. I was sitting in church a couple weeks ago and for the first time in months, I saw something. God showed me how I’ve been praying is from the point of desperation, not a place of faith. “Wait, there’s a difference?” Yes. There is. What I’ve failed to realize is God already has the plan. He knows your life better than you do. He knows you better than you do. When I think that things aren’t happening, that’s when I should be praying, “Lord, give me the opportunity to see you in the midst of my circumstance. Help my faith. As I’m looking at my finances, Lord let me prepare for your abundance and not see the lack…” Faith speaks different. Faith looks different. Faith looks at things like the glass is ALWAYS half full. Faith is the partner we need when Life is rearing it’s ugly head at us and trying to give us a run for our money. Faith is the friend that never quits hoping, never stops loving and never stops complementing. When I’m weak naturally, faith picks up where I left off and speaks hope and truth into my situation. I’m here to tell you, WE SERVE A MIRACLE WORKING GOD. You can’t tell me that God doesn’t move things supernaturally for us. You can’t. I refuse to believe that. My dad was expecting to get a certain job and then things starting getting weird. Then, OUT OF NOWHERE to us, a friend called my dad and offered him a job in a matter of hours. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! In those moments, it’s not the time to pray “God, STEP IN RIGHT NOW!”. The thing that I saw that reinvigorated my faith was a chess board. I saw this scrawny, little Devil guy on one side and my entire family and all the people praying for us on the other side. And the greatest part was that God was on our side. He was not scared or even moved when the Enemy on the other side was making his moves. God was patient, smiling his gentle smile and not moved at all. His breath never changed pace. He didn’t sweat or even ruffle his brow looking at the board. He kept his eye on us. Just when the Enemy moved into the “kill shot” and we all gasped our breath, God paused, quieted us and without taking his eyes off us, he wiped the entire board clear and won it all. The Enemy had a tantrum while we all just marveled at what we saw. That’s the God I serve. The God I serve doesn’t just make moves because I tell him to. He patiently calms me and without even taking his eyes off me, he answers with no sign of worry.
My dad has a job.
My mom is dreaming up several new things she wants to do.
My sister is dreaming about what’s next for her nursing career.
My youngest sister is dreaming about being a change maker on the campus of OU.
I’m in grad school, dreaming and living life in a new city and LOVING IT.
Sure, you can try and tell me that God is lazy and he doesn’t care… But I will prove you wrong every time, because wherever unbelief is, my God shows up.
“For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future”-Jeremiah 29:11