You know what a snow day in grad school looks like?
It looks like this: I woke up this morning at 8:00am and checked my email and then got a text message from my friend asking me if OU is closed. Of course, I had no idea if school would be canceled or not. So I did what I always wanted to do when I was in middle and high school and there was a snow day…rolled over and went back to sleep. It would be 10:30 or so when President David Boren would make the call that classes were canceled. So again, what did I do? Stayed in my pajamas and got to work…watching Parenthood on Netflix. ((Seriously. If y’all are ever looking for me, and I’m not answering my phone, you should probably text Hailey and tell her to “interrupt” the Netflix watching until I answer)).
You know what I’ve realized lately? I don’t know how to “hang out and do nothing”. I don’t. I would watch TV, but I wouldn’t just watch TV. I would be working on a project or painting or cleaning my house. I don’t know how to rest. I don’t know how to just watch a basketball game. Why? Because I’ve never had the opportunity to do just that. I have no one to blame but myself for this tactical error in judgement.
I hate being idle. I hate just sitting still. I hate it. Why? Because there’s always something to be done. And that idea and thought pattern has crept into my everyday life. I don’t know how to sit with my family. I’m always on my phone or reading or writing. I don’t know how to sit and have coffee with a friend. I mean, I kinda do, but not really. I have issues focusing on the moment. This is a problem! And I know I’m not the only one who is having this issue.
Being able to sit back and relax with family should be a welcome retreat from the busy-ness that life brings. To sit with a friend at coffee and really listen to the heart behind the eyes is pivotal to lasting relationships. Being able to develop a mentality that when you’re home, you’re all there, all present in that moment, is needed and necessary to live! It’s not bad to set the phone down and close the computer and be present with family. Now, living on my own, like seriously on my own, has shown me this. I’m an hour and half-2 hours away from my family. I am making wonderful friends here. I have found a wonderful church that has already blessed me in immense ways and brought healing to some hurts. I love grad school. I love everything about Norman. But there’s nothing, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING that can replace your own family. Being away from home has helped focus me when I am there. I don’t answer my phone. I snuggle up with my mom and dad and Hailey. I sit so close to them they probably think I’m weird. I lean in when they talk now. I can’t help it. Being away from home has helped show me what is the most important. All this to say, having a day to sit and do nothing… to simply sit and read and ONLY read… to sit and watch Netflix and ONLY Netflix… To not answer an email… These things are ok. Your phone and computer will always be there. Be present when you’re with your family and friends. Just trust me on this.
I guess all that to say, when the time comes and I have my family, I don’t want my kids and husband to say “Oh yeah, that one time when Mom wouldn’t put her phone down…” or “Mom just doesn’t hear us when we’re talking”. I want my kids to see that an object isn’t important, but people are. I never want my husband to think I’m not there and available for him. It’s never too late to start something new and different. Set yourself up for success early.
🙂 Love you wonderful friends…