I got that email.
I got the email of all emails.
The email I never thought I would get.
It was the email…the one that said… YOU’VE BEEN AWARDED YOUR DEGREE FROM ORAL ROBERTS UNIVERSITY.
You guys. I never thought this moment would happen. NEVER. I’ve waited so long for that moment to happen. I didn’t do anything traditional. My poor parents (sorry, mom and dad) have been through it. I was 21 when I had my first freak out moment. I didn’t know what I was doing or who I was or wanted to be. I thought the only logical thing to do was to leave school. I went to bible school for a year and figured out that I did know how to hear God, it was a matter of taking the time to listen. I felt like I’d failed my parents and sisters on multiple occasions and this was the biggest. As I drove past ORU on what would’ve been my graduation day in 2009, I sobbed. I had the ugly cry and thought about how my decision to leave may have been wrong. But, as always, there was subtle, calming voice that could only belong to God, telling me my path wasn’t the least bit traditional or like anyone else. It was mine and it was going to be different. Unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. And boy, was He right.
After fighting my nerves and confidence issues for so long, I went back to school. I went to school and worked and went to school and worked and finally found myself where I am now…accomplished and restless. Yes, you can be both.
I believe there is a healthy relationship between accomplished and restless. Accomplishment to me means that something has been finalized. Something has been made final. And restlessness is just something that comes along with accomplishment. When you finish something, there’s a moment that happens. There’s a moment where you just find yourself sitting on your couch, wondering what happens next. It’s healthy. It’s ok. Anticipation for what’s to come is great. I’ve talked before about how frustrating life can be, but this moment right now, I keep thinking “Ok… something is on it’s way… I don’t know what, but I’m ready for whatever it is.” I don’t know where you’re at, but just know, you’re ok. This place of restlessness won’t last forever. One day, you’ll get that email that frees you up and you’ll be able to sit back and rest. Try to rest and take in all the moments around you. Be bold. Breathe.
Guys. I did it. I graduated.